Why I Haven’t Been Writing

In February 2025, I wrote that I wanted to share more of my work. The plan was to update my blog with things I had been reading, learning, listening to, and watching. I did this for about six months and then stopped. Days went by, which turned into weeks. Soon, I had not hit publish in months. As silly as it might sound, I felt guilty about it. I felt like I had failed. So instead of posting something, I just quit and went silent. Recently, I’ve been feeling like I need to get back into writing regularly. I’ve found it’s a good way for me to process life and what I’m learning. The exercise of writing is good for me, even if no one ever reads it. So tonight I sat down to write in my journal. I thought it was pretty revealing as to what’s been keeping me from posting to my blog. So, without any more comment, I’m going to share what I’m learning.

Here is what I wrote in my journal on 2/9/2026:

Some days when I open up this app, the words just pour out of me and I get an entry done in no time. Today doesn’t feel like one of those days. Today I feel like I’m at a loss for words. Not because I’m in a bad mood, or don’t want to write. I’m just not feeling “it.”

I’ve been really thinking lately that I can’t shake the whole idea of being a writer.

I feel like I have gathered so much information from books, podcasts, other blogs, YouTube videos, sermons, and from life itself. I can’t shake the feeling that I’m supposed to share this info with others. I just lack the confidence. I’m afraid that people won’t like what I write or they will make fun of me. I’m realizing I’m paralyzed with fear.

I struggle with imposter syndrome because I don't feel like a writer, and I definitely don't feel like someone whose knowledge is worth sharing. I feel like I’m just an air traffic controller who has worked the same airspace for 21 years. I’m a dad who gets angry and fails his kids daily. I’m a husband who feels like I keep falling short and I wonder how my wife puts up with my anger and moodiness. I have a spiritual life that seems more defined by struggle and barely hanging on to faith, as opposed to someone who faithfully follows Jesus.

Maybe I’m just scared to step out of my comfort zone because it’s been so long since I have. I’m used to only taking the safe bet. My plan has been starting things I know I can complete. I’ve been doing this for so long that perhaps that “comfort zone muscle” has atrophied and needs to be worked out.

I say I want to pursue the writing thing, but when it comes down to it I let fear rule the day. Even as I write that right now, I’m hesitant to close this journal and open up Ulysses to bang out some words. Argh! No one reads my blog anyway right now. No one would even know I published anything. And yet, fear still pulls at me, and I won’t start. Why?