The Long Shuffle Home

I failed on a run a few days ago, but learned a valuable lesson in the process.

I set out to run ten miles and was feeling good initially. However, when I got into mile seven, I was so tired. My heart rate was too high, and I couldn’t hold my target pace. For whatever reason, today was just not my day. I slowed to a walk and began going over my pre-run routine. I ate a good breakfast, hydrated with electrolytes, dressed appropriately, did my usual warm-up routine, and even got decent sleep the night before.

My route was an “out-and-back” so there was no shortcut home. I thought I had planned well. I expected that my run was going to go one way. And then it didn’t. It fell apart. Feeling irritated and mad that I wasn’t able to stick to my planned workout, I started the long, slow shuffle home.

I like to have a plan for everything in life. Even those plans have back-up plans. I’m not big on surprises, so I make plans to ensure things work out just like I think they should. That is…until they don’t go as expected. Do I then get to give up and quit? Nope. I have to regroup and begin to make progress in the same direction. That progress might not be at the pace or look exactly like what I expected, but it is still progress.

While walking/running/shuffling home on my run, God began to show me how this run was just like my life with my girls. Having two kids with special needs has caused so many plans of mine to go sideways. We arrive late to almost everything due to clothing and sensory issues. Cleaning up messes and bodily fluids is a big part of our daily routine. A meltdown can throw any part of the day into total chaos in a matter of minutes. One minor change in our daily routine can send my girls into an dysregulated tornado. So needless to say, that smooth, ideal life that I imagine in my head is disrupted almost daily in some way.

God has called me to a life I never would have expected. Almost daily I’m forced to face the reality of adjusting plans and my expectations yet again. But I’m learning each day to put one foot in front of the other and keep making progress. Even if that progress is at a walking pace instead of a race pace, it is still moving in the right direction. And in life, that direction is to be moving towards becoming more like Jesus. He doesn’t ask for perfect progress. He knows we will be slow some days and fast the others. He knows some days we might just need to sit down and regroup. That’s ok! He’s promised to be faithful and continue His work in us as we faithfully pursue Him.